When Love is Messy

This past Sunday night I attended a community service hosted by our local Baptist association.  It featured a praise and worship band that played both contemporary and traditional worship songs.  I was impressed at the number of newer songs I recognized.  I didn't feel as "out of the loop" as I thought I was.

During this time, I learned something about one of the popular worship songs that was played.  While I am familiar with the tune "How He Loves," I did not know that the David Crowder Band (whom has made the song popular) did not write it, and in fact changed a phrase in the song to make it more "marketable" to Christan radio.

They did this with full permission from the writer, John Mark McMillan.  In a blog post he wrote in 2009, he mentions that he holds no hard feelings against the band for doing this, and granted the permission because he knew it would result in its exposure to a wider audience.  At the same time, he laments this necessity, and comments on what it implies about the current climate of American Christianity.

What on earth could cause such a complex set of emotions for this song writer?  What phrase did Crowder's band deem "unmarketable" to their audience?  For those unfamiliar with the story, your curiousity must be peeking at this moment.  Perhaps you're wondering if McMillan cursed, or made a theological statement that would alienate one specific group of Christianity.  Interestingly, he did neither of those, but simply painted an accurate picture of God's love.

As the lyrics portray what the song's title implies it is about, "How [God] Loves," McMillarn compares his love coming to earth to a "sloppy wet kiss."  The David Crowder Band modified this in the now-popular version of the song to "unforeseen kiss."

What's the big deal?  Are we splitting hairs on this one?  Perhaps, but it is an important hair that makes the difference in a deeper understanding of God's love, as it is revealed in Jesus Christ.  As the worship leader commented on this Sunday night, he asked those attending if they knew what it was like to be kissed by a one-year-old.  This struck a chord with me because our daughter will be one in September.  Her kisses are wet, sloppy, and completely open-mouthed!  But they are also passionate, sincere, and filled with unbridled love.  She has not yet been taught that it's inappropriate to completely put everything you have into this act.

This is something she will learn in time.  Not because someone will sit her down and explain that the way she kisses people is inappropriate.  But because of the way we kiss her back.  Children learn by example, and as she notices that our kisses are more reserved, hers will start to be as well.  Socially, this is good for her.  It will help her fit into society's norms.

Unfortunately, I've seen something similar happen in Christianity.  Young Christians, full of zeal to do what Jesus said to do and to love radically without reserve, look around and see the veterans of the faith loving differently.  It's not that they don't love, they just do it in a nicer, cleaner, more comfortable way.  Instead of going to the homeless shelter, they might write a check.  Instead of visiting a prisoner, they support a prison chaplain.  Instead of  going to a stranger and inviting them in, they pray for them from afar.  Sooner or later, it dawns on the young believer that the way they are loving others is "sloppy."  And more often than not, they conform to the less difficult, yet still "unforeseen" methods of their brothers and sisters.

 God, help me to have the courage to love others like my daughter kisses me!