Being a "God-Pleaser"

This Sunday we began a sermon series entitled "Identity Matters" at EBC, based on the book of Galatians.  The following is some of the main ideas from the first message: "Being a God-Pleaser."

My grandmother on my mother’s side is in a rest home in Beaumont, TX.  To be honest (or, as the kids like to abbreviate, "TBH"), I’m surprised she has lived as long as she has.  She is obese, diabetic, has had several strokes, and is in congestive heart failure.  She is mostly confined to her bed and wheelchair, and spends a good amount of the day asleep.   

It was difficult the last time Michelle and I went to visit her, knowing that it very well could be the last time either of us see her alive.  She spent the majority of our visit in a deep sleep, mostly unresponsive to our voices and our touch.  My mom says she is not always like this, but has her good and bad days.  If you have or ever have had a relative in this condition, you can understand the frustration and the exhaustion it can cause.  The stress takes its biggest toll on those in the family that live nearby, who feel the obligation to visit often and provide physical and emotional support.  This lot falls to my mother (it usually falls to one or two people in the family that are the “caregivers”), and it is a role that she struggles to fulfill for many reasons.

One of the biggest reasons is because her relationship with her mother is complicated.  That’s not unheard of, is it?  Even those of us who have great relationships with our parents have some kind of hang-up or emotional scar that makes facing different seasons in life with them a little more nuanced and difficult to navigate than usual.  In my mother’s case, it is a continual desire for approval from my grandmother.   

As a child, I remember my mom changing her mind at the drop of a hat if my grandmother showed even the slightest amount of disdain over a decision she made.  From decisions about what kind of discipline to enforce, to the kinds of clothes to pick out for herself and us, she would always defer to my grandmother.  “What do you think, mom?” I remember hearing her ask.  That’s not too uncommon.  You might even say it is valuable and worthwhile for a mother and daughter to have such a close relationship.  The problem comes when this desire for approval is so great that it trumps everything else.  Let’s face it, given my grandmother's current condition, she will not likely be completely at peace and happy until she is with the Lord.

But that doesn’t stop my mother from trying.  She’s gone to great lengths to decorate her room, ensure that she has her favorite pillows and blankets on her bed, and takes special requests for the food and other items my grandmother might ask for to make her more comfortable.  I get exhausted just thinking about all the effort she expends trying to please my grandmother.  Of course, my grandmother eats it up, but who wouldn’t?  

 If we make pleasing people our goal, we will NEVER attain it.  Our identity can NOT rest on how happy we make another person, no matter how much we love them, or what they have done for us.  Regardless of whether it is a spouse, sibling, parent, or friend, you are not only unable, but not responsible for being the ultimate source that pleases or fulfills them.  However, as strange as it seems, you can please God.  You can’t please people, because people are imperfect, carry lots of baggage, and are not even 100% sure how to please themselves.  But God, on the other hand, has made it possible for us to please himself through faith in Christ.

“Am I trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” Paul asks rhetorically in Galatians 1:10.  He was trying to please God.  God is constant; he is not like people, whose desires change from one moment to the next.

People do not always purposely compete for your allegiance.  They will, unfortunately, take as much as you are willing to give.  If we serve Christ, we are bound to love our neighbor as ourselves; but not not to the extent that it takes away from being able to love and honor God.

If you are a God-pleaser, you have a firm resolve that isn’t tossed here and there by demands that others make on you.  There is a difference between serving others, and pleasing others.  As a Christian, it is not your job to please everyone and make them happy.  It is your job to please God.  Are you a people-pleaser, or a God-pleaser?