As a pastor, I hear about people's church experiences all the time: good, bad, and in-between. There is nothing that breaks my heart more than to hear about someone who grew up in a "Christian family," but didn't see the message preached at church lived out at home. Others have been turned off from church by preachers caught in scandals, deacons leading in arrogance instead of serving in humility, and let's not forget the gossip that masquerades as "prayer requests." I could go on. Perhaps you have a specific incident in your mind that has, or has almost, made you bitter towards church, God, or religion in general.
If so, let me make an unqualified statement: it probably is NOTHING compared to the experience of Elissa Wall. I recently read Stolen Innocence, the memoir of the aforementioned girl that grew up in a sect known as the Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints (FLDS).
This group received widespread media attention when their self-proclaimed prophet, Warren Jeffs, was indicted for arranging marriages involving under-aged girls with older men within his group. Elissa was one of those girls, and her story goes far beyond any other injustice I've heard that has been perpetrated in the name of God.
At only 14 years of age, Elissa was "chosen" to marry her cousin, Allen Steed. This choice was not made by her, or even by her parents, but by the prophet. In FLDS doctrine, God tells the prophet who he wants to get married, so to go against him is to go against God. Demonstrating a courageous spirit, Elissa pleaded many times for the prophet to reconsider. This in itself was looked upon as an act of defiance. Men are women's "priesthood heads" in FLDS religion. It is only through marrying one that a woman can be saved (go to Heaven). Each time she earnestly made it known that she did not want to do this, she was accused of going against God's will and not fulfilling the mission that he gave her.
Apparently, it was God's will for her to marry her cousin, whom she did not love, and drop out of school at the age of 14 to have babies. The most gruesome part of her story involves what happened between her and Allen. Like all FLDS girls, she was never taught about sex. She had never even heard the word. As far as she knew, people got married, and then they had babies. When Allen attempted to be intimate with her, she was horrified. When she sought help, she was simply told to submit to him, because he knew what was best as her priesthood head. She suffered physical and sexual abuse on his behalf, and several miscarriages as a result. Throughout it all, she was told to "keep sweet," which was a phrase the FLDS used to encourage their women put on a happy face, regardless of what they were thinking and feeling.
Eventually, Elissa got out of this horrible cult. One would think that her experiences with it would make her hesitant to put her faith in anything other than what she can see and understand empirically. The escape from the only life she ever knew seemingly comes as a result of her sheer determinism. The court system and outside world, taught to her as being evil, ended up helping her in obtaining justice. Yet, throughout the whole ordeal, I was astounded at how she mentioned praying to God in the midst of her trials. She also retains a keen awareness that some of her friends and family who remained a part of the cult were praying to God for some of the exact opposite things as she was.
Towards the end of the book she reflects upon her current situation and how her whole experience has formed her faith: "The thought that [my children] will grow up never knowing the confines of the FLDS Church makes me realize now, perhaps more than ever, the true presence of God. In the end, he's the only reason that I made it." The preacher side of me wants to further analyze these and some of the remarks that follow it, and follow up with a letter to her detailing what it really means to have faith in Jesus, as opposed to Joseph Smith or a cult-leading prophet. The pastoral side, on the other hand, realizes that perhaps she has been told what to believe enough in her life.
In spite of the horrible misrepresentation of God that saturated her upbringing on many levels, she has not given up on God. And that gives me hope for anyone. It reminds me that God is indeed bigger than our representation of him, and through his grace, people actually stand a chance at coming to know him. Whatever bad experience you may have had with religion, I doubt it was much worse than Elissa's. And I know that God's grace can sustain you even now.
If so, let me make an unqualified statement: it probably is NOTHING compared to the experience of Elissa Wall. I recently read Stolen Innocence, the memoir of the aforementioned girl that grew up in a sect known as the Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints (FLDS).
This group received widespread media attention when their self-proclaimed prophet, Warren Jeffs, was indicted for arranging marriages involving under-aged girls with older men within his group. Elissa was one of those girls, and her story goes far beyond any other injustice I've heard that has been perpetrated in the name of God.
At only 14 years of age, Elissa was "chosen" to marry her cousin, Allen Steed. This choice was not made by her, or even by her parents, but by the prophet. In FLDS doctrine, God tells the prophet who he wants to get married, so to go against him is to go against God. Demonstrating a courageous spirit, Elissa pleaded many times for the prophet to reconsider. This in itself was looked upon as an act of defiance. Men are women's "priesthood heads" in FLDS religion. It is only through marrying one that a woman can be saved (go to Heaven). Each time she earnestly made it known that she did not want to do this, she was accused of going against God's will and not fulfilling the mission that he gave her.
Apparently, it was God's will for her to marry her cousin, whom she did not love, and drop out of school at the age of 14 to have babies. The most gruesome part of her story involves what happened between her and Allen. Like all FLDS girls, she was never taught about sex. She had never even heard the word. As far as she knew, people got married, and then they had babies. When Allen attempted to be intimate with her, she was horrified. When she sought help, she was simply told to submit to him, because he knew what was best as her priesthood head. She suffered physical and sexual abuse on his behalf, and several miscarriages as a result. Throughout it all, she was told to "keep sweet," which was a phrase the FLDS used to encourage their women put on a happy face, regardless of what they were thinking and feeling.
Eventually, Elissa got out of this horrible cult. One would think that her experiences with it would make her hesitant to put her faith in anything other than what she can see and understand empirically. The escape from the only life she ever knew seemingly comes as a result of her sheer determinism. The court system and outside world, taught to her as being evil, ended up helping her in obtaining justice. Yet, throughout the whole ordeal, I was astounded at how she mentioned praying to God in the midst of her trials. She also retains a keen awareness that some of her friends and family who remained a part of the cult were praying to God for some of the exact opposite things as she was.
Towards the end of the book she reflects upon her current situation and how her whole experience has formed her faith: "The thought that [my children] will grow up never knowing the confines of the FLDS Church makes me realize now, perhaps more than ever, the true presence of God. In the end, he's the only reason that I made it." The preacher side of me wants to further analyze these and some of the remarks that follow it, and follow up with a letter to her detailing what it really means to have faith in Jesus, as opposed to Joseph Smith or a cult-leading prophet. The pastoral side, on the other hand, realizes that perhaps she has been told what to believe enough in her life.
In spite of the horrible misrepresentation of God that saturated her upbringing on many levels, she has not given up on God. And that gives me hope for anyone. It reminds me that God is indeed bigger than our representation of him, and through his grace, people actually stand a chance at coming to know him. Whatever bad experience you may have had with religion, I doubt it was much worse than Elissa's. And I know that God's grace can sustain you even now.
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