Listening

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that seemed to only be waiting for you to finish talking so that he/she could have a chance to speak?  If so, you know how frustrating it can be to not be heard.  While you may not consider it an absolute necessity, I think people have an inherent need (or at least strong desire) to be heard and listened to.  Technology understands this, and has made leaping advancements that enable people to be heard 24 hours day via social networks like Facebook and Twitter.  Some people even link these two together to ensure a maximum audience. 

Unfortunately, with the increase of an ability to be heard, comes a decrease in the quality of what is said.  Case and point: look over your news feed in whatever social network you prefer.  Some of these posts will be rants over personal problems, some will be trash talk, a small amount will be an educated opinion over a certain issue.  By and large, however, these posts will simply be information about normal, everyday activities.  Think back before the days of cell phones and text messaging.  Can you imagine getting a phone call from a friend that simply told you what they ate for breakfast?  This would be unheard of.

Don't mistake my intent.  I'm not trying to be the gripey old person that grumbles about how technology is ruining the world.  I don't mind it all that much that random people feel the need to tell me what they had for breakfast and when they went to the bathroom.  After all, it's my choice to read what they post.  My point is that the need expressed through social networks for people to be heard is overwhelming.  Sadly, I do not think Facebook or Twitter alone can ever completely fill that need.  Perhaps one reason that the nature of what people share through these networks is trivial, is because they have become used to not really being heard and taken seriously.  Perhaps they choose to share meaningless things about themselves over substantial information, because at least if no one listens, they haven't put much on the line.

In my "profession," I'm supposed to talk a lot.  Not only is a pastor expected to have something to say every Sunday morning, sometimes they are called upon on the spot to lead devotions, speak at weddings and funerals, or simply to give "scriptural" advice about any given situation.  Regardless of these expectations, I'm finding that more than anything else, people want to be listened to.  They need to be considered and acknowledged, not simply treated as a pawn for someone else to say what they want to in a conversation. 

Sometimes, people come into my office to simply say hello or ask a question, and find themselves sharing things that have been bottled up inside for so long, that they forgot it was there.  They always say something similar as they leave: "I didn't intend to come here and tell you all of that."  I'm thankful for the chance I have to listen to people and afford them a chance to be heard, but this is still not the ideal way.  What if they didn't have to bottle it all up until they can't stand it anymore, and spew it all out on the pastor in the safe and confidential walls of his office?  What if they could just tell you?  Who do you know that needs to be listened to today?